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musicDuring sadness you are there
During happiness you are there
During depression times you are there
During times when i m just emotionless
I get overflowed with emotions thanks to you
During times when I shed tears you are there
I m grateful to you...
Even without people around me
You are there for me
Thanks to you I can't feel lonely
My life just goes on thanks to you
I will never leave you
But live for you…
sweet nightmareTwo contradictory things happen at the same time
You feel jealousy
You feel hate
You feel like you are becoming a monster
You feel intern ugliness
You don't think anymore
you are taken over by desire
you only think about monopolization
It becomes a nightmare
But at the same time
You feel sweetness
You are transported into an endless
In "love" you never know what will happen
Love is just a sweet nightmare
HATEYou try too hard to think
That it's not the case
That hate is just born like that
But what you deny
Is the truth
Hate can be born out of love
Even though you know it
Inside of you there is this
Little voice that whispers the truth
You try hard to ignore it
And not to see it
And to mask it
You hate more
But in the end you are
Just a person who
Lusts for love...
Don't hide it
And don't run away from yourself
Just face it and you will see more clearly...
innocenceYou may have it
But you you may lose it
It's such a simple thing to lose
But when it's lost
You look for it again
You try to have it once more
But what to do?
It's already gone
So you pretend
You fake yourself
You try hard
but instead of that you could
have just cherished yourself
before you get sullied
now it's too late
once it's gone
it will never come back…
schizophreniaI saw that person
I talked to her
I heard her voice
I enjoyed my time with her
I understood her
She understood me
I had her life
She had mine
She was the other me
Little by little I understood that she was inside me
And then I knew that she was me...
BLOODIt can be seen
But when people say that
Do they really think that way?
Doesn't that mean that they find themselves
Disgusting as well?
I think that it's a fascinating thing...
It represents love
Every feeling can be
Represented in a few streams of blood
But how to explain it?
Words aren't enough
To do it....
narcissismA long time ago I saw you for the first time
I got interested in you
I discovered you
I grow up watching you
You were always with me
I got attracted to you
I liked you
My feelings grow
And I fell in love with you
I never felt lonely thanks to you
But what should I do?
You are just my reflection...
a child's heartPeople ask me why I am not an adult
They ask me why I m not mature
Why I m not growing up like my surrounding
Why I m not like the others
Why I don't think of the same things as the people
Who are the same age as me
Why I am weird
I can answer you with pride
That I have my own world
My own life
And I don't want to lose my child's heart
You may think I m childish but it s something I treasure
We'll Try...Pain will go away
It will get better they always say
I'll try to hold on
I'll try not to break down
More than I already am
I'll try not to cause any harm
For myself or my mom
I'll try to stand on
I'll try not to let down
Dear friends I won't be gone
For a minute passed with some happiness
A day was filled with more crappiness
It's alright God will make it up
For all I got to do and not to stop
Never give up never surrender
We owned the past still got a future..
We'll try to hold our ground at the strongest storm
Nothing can shake us if we just..
If we just try...
This world is hard..
It's not our time
It's walls are so slime
Why it's got to be so difficult? So twisted?
So poor so painful?.. So rueful...
Despite the scars, despite the scattered pieces, and the burnt tears..
We'll try to stay alive...
EmptyEverything is so wrong
I just wish I could fix it
Been broken for so long
I'm in little pieces
It hurts to wake up
It hurts to want to die
Going to bed thinking of
How you're going to survive
Another day, another year
Another cut, another tear
More heartache, more pain
A black cloud pouring acid rain
Filling my thoughts, my head
Melting what's inside
Until there's nothing left
My Problem Is...I've always been a friend of darkness..
Darkness have found me.. Found me pieces
Gazed into me with big cloudy black holes..
Embraced me with cold thorny shadows..
Unclothed me from my virginity..
Wrapped me with shabby layer of shame..
Took away all the pulse..
Wiped off what I thought I owned..
Sucked out all the sanity..
Licked me and numbed me..
Injected me with a rough touch of evil..
Flooded me with sickness..
Shaped me with hate..
Adorned me with sharp spikes..
Broke me down in deep silence..
Smothered me into the unknown..
Sunken in endless emptiness..
No escape no salvation..
No resort no hope..
Regret and remorse..
Grief and agony..
Pain and suffer..
Tears and scars..
Is what darkness gave to me...
my little creation ...I painted something special tonight,
it makes me look different inside.
I painted a beautiful mask,
and when I placed it on my face,
it was the only thing that could replace,
the true emotion on my face.
the mask looked like me but a lot different too.
it made me look prettier with a wonderful smile.
the side affects may very.
only thing that seems to have changed,
( all that much that you would notice)
people have started to ask me,
'what have you done wit your hair?'
goes to prove that they don't care ...
The Little Girl Of DeathSo many voices scream and shout,
Even in my dreams, and I start to doubt,
My reason for being here.
Every single fear,
That I developed is coming true,
And I cannot handle the truth.
I start to break down,
But I don't make a sound,
Except I'm screaming in the inside.
And this little girl locked away full of rage has no one to confide,
In. She's pounding against my chest,
But it's best,
To hide her from society.
She slowly and quietly,
Not suppose to make a sound.
Days later she shoots bullets through my heart,
Causing my breathing to increase and new scars.
I want to murder this little girl.
For over a decade she's tried to steal my world.
She's the demon beast that the holiest could not manage to release.
She'll never let me be free,
She'll always feed off of me,
And who I want to be.
Gradually I'll die and wither away,
Just so she won't stay.
But each day,
She grows bigger.
And I cannot figure,
Out her weakness.
But through out all of this,
I've found out how to seda
Whats the point on Living?I'm lost in this world alone
with no hope to go on
with only the tears
crashing all around me
There is nothing that can be done
nothing that is risk anything
I can't help it
but to make sure that I feel this pain
A feeling that I always wanted
a feeling that is like a drug to me
to slit my wrists open
and to watch the blood fall to the ground
There is no hope left to my life
there is no reason for me to be here
I'm stuck in this depression
that I can't seem to control anymore
I just want to feel the pain on my arms
to watch the blood flow from my arms
to feel this pain deep inside
to end my life for good....
There is no hope in this world
Nothing but pain and torture
What is the real point on Living?
when most of the time you feel dead....
I had not 1, not 2, but 3
All of which disagreed,
My feelings shouldn't matter
Made me cry through out every night,
With nothing but sorrow left inside
Everyday I tried my best
To keep a smile on their faces
Stress and stress built all around
Leaving me nothing but doubts
Tried and tried, nothing changes
What's all but left is contagious
Behavior that was obvious to the eyes
Yet I was blind
Every one could see it
Thinking I could change
Just made everything worse
Gave them more of a reason to leave
Gave me more of a reason to cry
That's why from this day forward
My tears will not be shedded
My heart will not crumble
No guy is worth
My love or liking
Until he shows why I should bother.
And Again I Break DownIn the midnight
My pillow is wet again
Nothing can stop me from falling in pain
I turn my music on
Nothing else can be heard or seen
My face is twisted and frown
I cry in quiet silence
No one there to hear my mute weep
And inside my head there's a loud violence
I feel the strong desire to scream
Long breaths in and out
But my voice is nothing floating like steam
From the past painted images drawn to be shown
Unforgettable left memories and backgrounds
And far away I wanted my spirit to be blown
Convincing myself this is the last night
But yet the dark sorrow takes a hold
Fear runs through my blood when I turn off the light
A cold dry air pressed on my chest
Like ice hard and harsh it felt
And I'm still breathing for the coming days and the rest
For tomorrow I draw a smile on my face
Strange how shortly and it's erased
I turn out what a big disgrace
I think this is a way that I have fun
In crying they see is a waste of time
So they don't need me I'm better be gone
fake...When I m sad
I want to stop feeling that way
I want to take away that heavy
Thing on my heart
I want to smile
I want those feelings to fade away
And then unconsciously
I fake a smile
I fake a laugh
I fake happiness
I try to deceive myself
Thinking that maybe if I do that it will become real
But I just get imprisoned in a fake world…
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^Nyx-Valentine arrived in our community and started whipping everyone into a frenzy with her relentless desire to bring the Artistic Nude and Fetish galleries to the fore. 9 years later, and it's safe to say that Nyx is not only a leader as a photographer in these galleries, but she has also established herself as a much saught after model. ^... Read More